Harry plus Bella equals GET OUT OF MY LIFE
by eowyn-gryfindor
Summary: quirky spoof;what if Harry moves in with Bella?
1. Chapter 1

**Harry potter, Bella, twilight, the sorcerers stone, or owls are not mine. I wish I owned an owl. :)**

_**harry pov**_

"Harry, wake up!" screamed my Aunt from the kitchen.

"Aunt I'm moving out!" I declared. Last night an owl came to me, saying, "Go to your 'cousin' Bella, in Forks, Washington,USA." I decided to listen to it even though it meant I was psychotic, because my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin were really mean to me.

"And _where_ do you think you're going?" she asked, stepping out of the kitchen to get a better look at me, in my cupboard-under-the-stairs.

"To cousin Bella's, in America." I answered happily.

"The boy's gone mad," she yelled at my Uncle.

"And anyway, you really think you'd fit in in _America_? You're from England and that's where you'll stay." she said decidedly, turning back to her cooking.

"Well I'm going anyway." I said.

"You're really considering this?" she said incredulously, at a nod from me, she continued, " Well, I can't let you go anyway, since I'm your legal guardian. And I haven't had enough time to abuse you besides." she retorted.

"Oh but Aunt, you're the meanest, cruelest Aunt there every was, and I don't think I could ask for a worse one." I said sweetly.

"You really think so? Oh , I think I shall cry from your kindness, but I shan't since I am the cruelest Aunt ever. Go, you have my permission. But hurry, before your Uncle notices, I dare say he's had the most pleasure bossing you around." so I packed my duffel bag and was off.

**I think end it here for now, what should Bella's reaction be? Please give _constructive_ criticism, but no flames (assuming people even read this)**


	2. ch 2 mental institution

Here ya go, sorry I haven't updated yet, I haven't had ANY time!

"It took me weeks to get here, but here I am!" I called triumphantly, flinging open the door to cousin Bella's house.

"Um excuse me, are you lost?" A sweet voice asked from the kitchen, and I saw a pretty girl come out.

" Cousin Bella? Is that you?" I asked, practically jumping up and down with excitement.

Bella's p.o.v.

"Um I'm Bella, but I'm not your...cousin." I said, trying to be as polite as I could. It was obvious this kid escaped from a mental institution, but how he got my name and address, I have no idea.

" I'm so glad I have found you, we have so much to catch up on!" The poor kid looked like he was about to pee his pants.

"Um, where are your parents kid?"

" Oh their dead, why do you say um all the time? You can call me Harry if you want, and I am your cousin, the owl told me!"

" Oh that's okay, wait WHAT? Their dead? Who's supposed to take care of you?" no wonder the kid was messed up, he didn't have any parents.

"Well my Uncle and Aunt WERE supposed to take care of me, but I didn't like them very much, because they made me sleep in the cupboard under the stairs, but it's okay, because the owl said to come live with you anyway."

" Okay you guys can come out now. I know I'm being punk'd. Come on, don't be shy! I'll make you coffee and cookies."

"What is 'punk'd'? Can I have some cookies?"

"Okay kid, stop playing dumb and get your mom."

"But I'm not dumb, and I told you, my mum is dead!" he said eyes welling up with tears. Was this for real? Does this kid seriously think an owl told him to come to my house and live with me?

"Well I guess I don't have a choice. It's getting dark out, and I have no idea where your mental- house is." I said grudgingly

"Really?" man he recovers fast.

"You can sleep in my dad's room." I said, pointing up the stairs.

"Won't your father need to sleep there though?" he asked, concerned

"No," I snorted, "he just passes out on the chair watching football most of the time.

" Your dad likes futbol? Me too! I especially love being the goalie!"

"Uh, you mean soccer."

"No, I mean futbol. Oh! You're talking about _American_ football! I hate that. Kids always push me over."

" I can't imagine why." I looked him over. He probably was half my weight.

"Well, get to bed ki—Harry." I said shooing him upstairs.

So do ya like it? Tons of reviews makes the world go round, so review! sorry its short, I just cant right a long story! for those of u who are disappointed about Bella and harry being related, sorry, but its funnier this way, and I have more material.


End file.
